How far can we go? Or, is oral sex OK?
Mrs R and I have been watching The Peasant Princess from Mars Hill. We downloaded the episodes and burned them to DVD. Fantastic stuff (that's another post). Driscoll's pastoral heart can sometimes seem cold and hard, but it is precisely because he has a deep pastoral heart that he addresses issues so starkly. I was particularly struck by this comment, which I paraphrase loosely because I didn't jot it down at the time. It relates to non married couples and the oft asked question "How far can we go?" Oh, if I had a pound for every time I've heard that. Driscoll's reply:
When you ask, "How far can I go?" you are essentially asking "How far can I push sin?" That's the wrong question. The right question is "When is the right time?" to which the answer is "Marriage." Think of it like this. The Scriuptures say "treat younger women as sisters" (1 Tim 5.1-2) so guys, would you hang out with your sister? Yep! Would you hug your sister? Sure. Would you go to the cinema with your sister? Why not? Would you touch your sister in any sexual way at all? NO! NO! NO! There's your answer.
It's a great way of answering this pastoral hot potato - much better than the Joyce Huggett approach of my youth - which is putting all sexual activity on a scale and then "drawing a line." Driscoll's line might seem more subjective (no hard and fast rules of what's in and what's out), but is actually (in the long run) more objective, culturally sensitive and, of course, Scriptural.
He mentions this in response to something I've seen over here too (and perhaps hinted at in a letter to EN this month): that though couples may be wearing purity rings and saying that they are "virgins" when they marry, they are practising oral sex with no sense of wrongness or guilt.
Posts
